the side of me that wants you here
by Janyne
Summary: A life story. No more, no less; fictional, uncensored.
1. Chapter 0, Prologue

I'm just a simple singer in a... Not so simple bar. Not a story for now, but I might share it with you some day. Regardless; My name is Janyne and even though I don't like disclosing my age, I'm going to have to get used to private information if I want to write down my story, so here we go- I'm 23 years young. Whew, that was intense. Kidding.

My story is dramatic, open, honest, direct and everything else you might not like and if that bothers you? Stop reading; It'll only get worse. I'm mostly just writing all of this down to get some personal relief, anyway. The blood, gore, filth- I'm not going to censor it for anyone, because I don't feel like it. Skip parts at your own discretion, but remember, danger lurks a mere three steps away -sometimes less- and a sudden change of moods won't be uncommon. That's how life works, isn't it?

First of all, Fox, Kiwi, if you ever get to read this, I've either gone mental or I'm dead. Just... Always, always remember I've loved the two of you more than life itself. Glory, Gloria- My.. Interest in you transcends words; I can't express if verbally, though I don't think you'd expect that from me anyway. Jinx, thanks for, well, just being you and at that, being there for me. Oh and Johnnie? I really, truly am sorry, all right? I can't stress that enough.

Let's get this party started.

Love,

Janyne, and to those special to me, Nyn, Nynni, or Jan [whichever you prefer, dearests]


	2. Chapter 1, Unwanted

.c1 "In our Family Portrait, we look pretty happy. Let's play pretend, act like it comes naturally." - _Pink_

"Don't you dare using that tone with me, little lady." A middle-aged man stood in a boring, ordinary living room, bellowing with rage at the girl in front of him. She pulled up her shoulders in a shrug, her violet locks dancing around her shoulders. Night had fallen hours ago and the clock's ticking loudly disturbed the awkward silence by letting those awake know it was 5 o'clock. In the morning.

The girl pulled her hands through her hair absent-mindedly, revealing multiple piercings in both ears; Her face was unscathed, but her ears suffered enough holes for every patch of skin on her body. Or so her father deemed, but she couldn't actually care _any_ less.

"Dad, just... Let me go to bed. I'm tired, _exhausted_, let me be. We'll talk later." she said, which she knew would end in a nasty purple-blue bruise on one of her cheeks. All she could do was wonder which side it would be this time.

_Whack._

There it was already. Left, for a change; He was carrying his bottle of booze in his left hand, so it wouldn't have been practical to hit her on the right. Her tongue traced her teeth and found them all still neatly aligned in her mouth. The taste of blood went by unnoticed, she expected it and would spit it out the moment she got to the bathroom, as soon as she could slip past the dirty scumbag she was forced to call her father.

"You were supposed to be home at _eleven_. That's..." he started, counting it out on his stubby fingers, the bottle functioning as the pointing stick, "Five... No... Too many hours ago!" his voice got louder with every word he spewed, until it resulted in flat out screaming. He hiccupped, causing Janyne to pull up her nose, disgusted with the stench of alcohol. Or at least, the way he carried it around. He continued, still, to her surprise, asshe hadn't expected him to be able to say more before falling back in his chair. "Do you...", he yawned loudly, "...know how worried we were?" he yawned again and, as usual, fell back in his chair, sleeping like a log.

_Yes, I know how worried you were. You weren't._ she thought, sighing.

"Your little pinky cares more for beer than the both of you have ever cared for me, let alone be _worried_ about me." she said as she walked past him; He wouldn't hear her, anyway. She sighed again. _That was half of it. Let's see what mom does tomorrow._ she thought, rolling her eyes.

She didn't hold much love for her parents, but she loved her seven year old brother because he was the only thing she had to treasure. She'd do anything for Rook, oblivious as he was. He had a learning disorder and was a year or two behind mentally, but he was the family baby and the only one that was genuinely loved by the house's other three residents. Well, two and a half, considering her father was drunk half the time.

If it had been a normal 'rule' for a normal sixteen year old, Janyne would've had no trouble complying. She would've been home perfectly on time. It wasn't a normal rule, though. Her father, an alcoholic, was banned from the liquor store a block away... And it closed at midnight. If she'd get home on time, she'd be asked to fetch her father more booze and would get hit for bringing home exactly what he'd asked her to buy. He would just plainly forget what he had asked her for and would then hit her for his own stupor induced amnesia.

On top of that, she would get a couple more bruises from her mom the next morning for doing as her father told her; Leaving him knocked out from the alcohol on the living room sofa. It was always the same and it would always be the same until the day she left home. She couldn't just run, though; She had to protect her brother, who was worth more to her than the whole world, because she knew he'd have to take her place if she left - And no way in hell would he understand what was asked of him. He was only seven, after all.

So, she stayed, forced to remain fixed in place; Taking the beatings, the pain, the hurt. It wasn't even the physical damage that caused her grief, it was mostly the rage building up inside of her that she couldn't let go of. Over the years she'd learned to avoid the things that made her 'deserve' getting beaten or scolded and she had quite some tricks up her sleeve to get out of harm's way if there really was no other choice. Still didn't get her out of this daily routine, but it would hurt less and that was worth it.

She didn't really have any friends to rely on either, so none of them had ever been entrusted with her secrets; If they asked where the bruises had come from -they barely ever did, anyway- she'd say her brother had been a bit too rough playing and had whacked a toy or whatnot in her face. She crossed her fingers he'd forgive her for those lies one day.

In fact, her 'friends' didn't really make her life any better at all. They'd joined one of the cities' gangs and even though she knew it was wrong, they were the only people she knew outside of her dysfunctional family. They'd listen to her and make her feel better- Or at least, that's what she liked to pretend they were even bothering to try.

In reality all they wanted was money. Or drugs, but in the underworld that seemed to be the same thing. She didn't care for either, not the slightest bit, and that didn't really spark the members' respect for her. Slightly under pressure of the gang's leader, the biggest, ugliest, oldest and meanest of the bunch, for he seemed to have taken a liking to the girl. She could never fall for him, but she never spoke of that. She knew better.

She had to, if she wanted to live.


	3. Chapter 2, Surprises come in twofold

.c2 "Coming out of my cage, and I've been doing just fine. Gotta, gotta be down, 'cause I want it all." _- The Killers_

High heels clicked on the gruff, small stage, the dim lights revealing a dark-haired female. She seemed to be in her early twenties, but she knew all too well that looks _could_ be deceiving. She elegantly brushed a few locks of hair from her face, as her hand wrapped about the microphone that had been readied; Waiting for her to arrive. Her nails pressed against her palm, the show was starting. Breathing in deeply, she gathered all oxygen she could from the cigarette smoke clouding her sight in the bar she called her home.

"Welcome, everyone~", she said, eying those she could see, "You may, or may not know me, but I am Janyne, your hostess and entertainer for tonight." she continued, her voice echoing off the finely tuned speakers, carefully hidden throughout the room. "If you're new, you might not be used to my way of entertaining, but I do hope you'll appreciate it, and perhaps even enjoy it." She took a few paces back, unhooked the microphone from its stand and held her dress with her free hand. The spotlights focused on her as her voice set in for a song she'd carefully adapted to her own capabilities after hearing it on the radio.

_If I lay here,_  
_if I just lay here,_  
_would you lie with me, and just forget the world?_

_Forget what we're told,_  
_before we get too old,_  
_show me a garden that's bursting into life._

Her voice stretched out syllables as the familiar lines danced over her tongue, leaving their impressions on the public in front of her. After what seemed to be mere seconds, her voice faded and the song was already over. For those that knew her, it was easily read in her eyes that the song hadn't covered the woman's emotions; To those that didn't, she remained the biggest mystery they'd encountered so far.

Her audience seemed mesmerised and she couldn't help but smile, knowing she'd pulled it off the way she wanted; They'd listen to her _tonight_.

"We all fall in love sooner or later, all in our own way - Expectedly or unexpectedly, prepared or unprepared..." she said, glancing over the crowd. A mostly male crowd, she noticed, but it was all the same to her. As long as they were enjoying themselves, her night would be wonderful. She continued, "Sadly, unrequited love lingers in the hearts of many and there is a story I'd like to tell you about a girl with such feelings..." Her eyes met the crowd, seeking approval. The vibe spoke a thousand words and she smiled as the crowd urged her to go on, the customers not yet willing to let go of the sound of her voice.

During her tale, a regular sat down at the bar. He went by the name of Jynx and he had been one of Janyne's favourite customers since the very first time he'd set foot in the place since she'd been there. She didn't know all too much about him, except that he was extremely knowledgeable and wiser than most that came to listen to her. He came for her especially, too, to listen to her voice over and over again, whether singing or telling stories of those she'd met during her days of refuge in this bar. He either came to lose himself and forget about the daily worries in his life, or he had serious business with someone and the bar was the perfect location to get it over and done with.

From his position, he saw spotlights accentuating her vibrant, 'violent' as he called them, violet eyes even more than her already intense make-up did; Light scattered on her dress, shimmering with even the slightest movement of her body. ...Or so he'd told her once, when awaiting her near the back of the establishment, after her show for that night. She appreciated his presence, because he'd listen to _her_ when _she_ needed to talk and she loved him dearly for it. Her eyes always searched his during a show, but would only meet them once when found. After that, her attention was diverted from him until the show was over.

He'd ordered a drink and the lively bartender was immediately fulfilling his wishes; She was the most cheerful, sympathetic creature you could ever meet and if you did meet her, you'd feel blessed. She smelled of blue raspberries and tangerines, and her laugh and smile would, together with the fragrance, reside inside your memory forever. She had requested him to read her palm. Everyone always came to him for advice, and he could only do as she pleased. He'd be there for a while, Janyne knew, or at least, until she was finished.

Minutes later, a new tone in the woman's voice broke the tension that'd been built up during her story. She abruptly ended it with a few simple words, "...The poor thing. Hope she'll fall for someone else someday." and winked, "Actually, she already has." she continued, smiling. "I hope you're enjoying yourselves tonight in our fine bar, miss Foxy is away on a business trip tonight, but our darling Kiwi is ready to take your orders in case any of you are in need of a refill." she paused, all the while smiling, hoping the guests would stay and spend some more money. That's how her world would keep itself spinning, after all. With a warm, "Good evening, I'll be free for a chat in about half an hour." she left the stage and walked off to the back, chuckling inwardly as she could feel the eyes of various guests follow the motion her dress made around her curves as she exited to the back.

Her room, located at the far end of the hallway was small, but she deemed it just right for the person life had made her into. She'd had her fair share of _shit_ to deal with and she hadn't always chosen the right path, but always the one that seemed 'best' at the time. Sadly, that didn't too frequently work out in her favour, but she had accepted that and had dealt with it accordingly. That was also how she had eventually found herself here, at this bar, as a refuge. She loved the place so much she thought she'd never leave, if she was allowed to stay.

Pushing open the door to her room, she let out a deep sigh. She wasn't exactly feeling as wonderful as her audience had perceived her, as today had been seven years_ since_. He would've been fourteen by now. She smiled at the thought, but the smile faded into a grimace soon after and wished she could've just discarded all her memories the moment she'd stepped through the doors of the bar for the very first time.

She rummaged through her small and uncluttered -nearly empty, in fact- closet for a few moments before deeming something worthy enough to pull it out. She changed into something... Well, more practical was probably the best term; More comfortable certainly wasn't. For all she cared she could just go back to the bar in sloppy trousers and a tank-top, but the customers liked this more.

Draping her most beautiful dress over the lone chair that rested in front of a worn, but certainly cherished vanity table, she put on a long, ruffled skirt and a proper top to go with it. She sat down for a split second, just to check her hair and make-up and then hurriedly exited again, rushing back into the bar as fast as she could.

Foxy hadn't told her she'd be out for the night, but Janyne watched _everything_ that could possibly be of interest closely. Anything that was of mild concern she usually noticed and a remarkable thing like Foxy exiting the bar halfway through one of Janyne's performances was certainly deemed unusual enough. All the more reason to keep a good, watchful eye on the bar during her boss' unannounced absence.

There wouldn't be much time to chat with customers when Foxy was out and about, but she did notice one remarkable visitor. A woman, dressed in a _suit_, with dazzling pink eyes, had left. A pity, she would've liked a chat with such a mysterious guest, but there were other, more urgent matters at hand. She pushed open the door that gave way back into the bar, hastily stalking over to the counter.

"Kiwi, sweetheart, a glass of water, please?" she called out and the colourful bundle of joy immediately replied, "Comin' up, Nyn!" she called back and Janyne was soon server the finest mineral water in the house. Normally, she would object, she didn't want the expensive type. Straight from the tap would've been good enough, but there was work to do and no time for discussion. She bent over the counter top, checking if Foxy left a note for her. She felt the bar's keys being pressed into her hands. Kiwi smiled, "Foxy said to give them to you, and that you would probably have to close up."

The girl paused for a moment before continuing, "Oh and, Gloria left this for you." she said, passing a folded note over the bar's top. Janyne raised an eyebrow in wonder. _Gloria? _she thought, _Who's that?_, but discarded the thought a second later. She'd worry about that when Foxy got back. She slipped it in the convenient fold between her bra and top and slipped the keys down her shoe. She'd changed into long boots just for this reason.

The rest of the evening was fairly unfruitful, customers came and went, another song was played by the long-haired soloist that also just came and went. When he needed some cash, he'd pop in if it pleased him. Silent, attractive, but never interested in the squealing ladies that clung to him after a performance. Janyne had given up on trying to get a sensible word out of him. The only information about himself he'd ever shared was that his name was Mos and she'd deemed it a miracle that he'd ever shared even that much.

Instead, she'd made a chat with her fascinating visitor seated at the bar, that as expected had indeed waited for her to finish her work on stage. He shared a few stories of the retarded business people that had come to him for advice and she tried to relate to them. She never ridiculed anyone but instead tried a more realistic approach, reasoning about how those people had grown that unmindful. Best explanation Jynx had come up with for their fortune was that apparently the current market allowed even dimwits to make a profit; Which in turn helped him, as his overly decent (but simple) advice always had a price tag.

Every bit of information he told them had to be weighed carefully, however, for concurrent companies both visited him and if they got air of his double interests, he'd be pretty far from home. For now, however, his 'clients' thought of him as a psychic, as he always gave them the 'best' advice. He was cashing in pretty well.

He didn't stay too long and after he left, the amount of customers quickly decreased - If one sheep crosses the dam, they say. The bar usually closed at one, but Janyne hated kicking people out, so those rare occasions where she got to lock up, she'd just let them leave at their own pace. Kiwi barely had a sense of time anyway, little pile of happiness as she was. She never really seemed to get tired.

After the last person had left, Janyne quickly cleaned up, pulling a wet towel over the tables, mopped the floors and once everything was secured, went to bed. The memory of the note had reappeared in her mind and she was eager to read it. When Kiwi had shoved it her way, there had been a rose with it; One from their own tables, nonetheless and Janyne was... Quite clueless when it came to herself and romance. She said goodnight to Kiwi, went past all doors to double-check if they were locked, and rushed to bed.


	4. Chapter 2,5, Twofold, yes

.c2,5 Twofold, yes

She didn't bother to undress, she just peeled the now wrinkled note from between her private places, dropped on her bed and began to read;

_Meet me at peace bridge in exactly one week, midnight._  
_Formal attire;_  
_Beverages & food provided._  
~ Gloria Missy

She was... Surprised, to say the least. She was surely interested in meeting this woman but... Who was she?

Only then Janyne lifted herself from her bed to take out her earrings and she put them, together with the note, in her jewellery box of which the contents were as scarce as those of her closet, but she was proud of what she'd been able to buy over the years. Then, she undressed herself. As she put all her clothes on the chair that also carried the cloth drape she remembered to be her dress, she noticed a small bulge, a bundle of cloth on her vanity table. It hadn't been there earlier that day, though she couldn't remember if it'd been there when she'd changed a few hours earlier.

When she opened it, surprise again mounted her face as the smallest gun she'd ever seen fell out, together with a scrap of paper,  
"You'll never know if you'll need it. I prefer other weapons, anyway." - Oxirra Missy  
It read and an awkward feeling crept over her. Foxy leaving with a word and now this? She knew business was rough sometimes, but there was only one person she'd ever wished death for and she really hoped to never encounter him again.

She grimaced and put it on her nightstand, the note joining its twin in the jewellery box. She put on a nightgown, tucked herself in and her thoughts went rampant. There were so many things she didn't know and had always been happy to be left in the dark about; But if Foxy deemed this necessary... She'd prefer to know what she was up against. It ached, the idea of being able to murder someone so easily. It brought back memories she'd wanted to forget and only then realised there were tears rolling down her cheeks.

She knew she wasn't going to get sleep this way and if she was in danger, Kiwi would be even more so. After all, Kiwi was the closest thing to what Foxy had, both mentally and physically, and her room was closest to Foxy's quarters. Janyne got up, nightgown swaying about her legs as she stumbled to put on her slippers. Taking the small gun with her, she left the room, locked it and moved to Kiwi's door.

She knocked and, hearing no audible response, entered. She felt bad about entering without permission, but Foxy and Kiwi had been so good to her. If she could do anything to prevent bad things from happening to either of them, she had to try. The room, normally colourful and bright, was now pitch-black and long shades were drawn from the faint light that peeked through cracks and slits.

"Kiwi, darling?" she said softly, and in response the slow, rhythmic breathing changed and the blankets turned, revealing a messy-haired Kiwi and some big plush animals. Sleep drunk as she was, she still managed to identify the person standing in the middle of her room. "Nyn? Is it morning already? It's still so dark out-" she said, yawning. Janyne smiled at the girl, "No, sweetheart, I... Just had a really bad dream and was just taking a walk and checking if you were sleeping well. Would you mind if I sit with you for a while?" she said and Kiwi nodded slowly, moving and shifting in her bed to make some room. "I've never had a sleepover..." she said, turning to face Janyne sleepily.

Janyne sat down gently, "Well, don't all your friends sleep over with you every night?" she replied, patting one of Kiwi's big plush animals and Kiwi grinned sleepily. "Oh... Yes... if that's what a sleepover is... They're fun." the little girl yawned again, "I'm happy you're here, Nyn... nnn..." she mumbled something incomprehensible and Janyne knew she'd fallen asleep again. The girl wasn't much different from her own little brother, just a few years older. No wonder she felt so protective of the little creature. Then again, everyone felt protective of Kiwi.

Janyne pulled up her legs and wrapped her arms around them. She even stole a tiny bit of unused blanket to cover her bare feet. At least she wouldn't physically feel bare and unprotected anymore, now that she was in possession of a gun... Though, she only felt more vulnerable than before and she really couldn't make sense out of it. She really wanted to at least try and get some sleep, but her thoughts wouldn't let her.

The silence was dreadful, but it soothed her nerves and her mind and she almost nodded off to the stage between waking and sleeping… _Almost_. A crash of glass broke the silence and Janyne immediately sat up straight, eyes wide awake. It hadn't been in Kiwi's room and it sounded too close to be her own, so it had to have been in Foxy's rooms. The bar had no windows small or thin enough to be broken that easily. Her blood seemed to freeze in her veins and she heard soft squirming as Kiwi shifted in her blankets, "Hrrmmrrr... What was that...?" she uttered and Janyne gave the best standard answer she could think of, "Nothing, baby, go back to sleep," and with a quick, gentle rub on the cheek, she felt Kiwi relax and calmly sink back into her world of dreams. If only it'd be that easy for herself.

She got up again and opened Kiwi's door slowly, carefully peeking to see if anyone was there. The hallway was empty, so she went to grab the gun and slipped out, softly closing the door behind her. She had no clue how the gun worked, but she figured that if it failed her, she'd be just as dead as when she hadn't tried. It was her obligation to these people that had become her family.

She stepped towards Foxy's door and turned the knob. Locked, Foxy wouldn't have been herself if she left her door unlocked, so all Janyne could do was sit down and wait, listening to the deathly terrifying sounds -though muffled- of things falling on the floor after having been looked through. After what had seemed hours, but in fact had only been moments, she suddenly heard a click from the inside of the door.

Not recognising the person that came out to be Foxy, she jumped up, aimed, and fired. Everything that followed, happened at once. A young man, as he turned out to be, crumpled down swearing heavily, hands reaching for his leg. "What 'da... Hell?" she heard him say, but her attention was focused on the door from the bar, which had swung open at the exact same moment. Instinctively, she aimed again, but the flash of red, white-accented hair made her subconsciously recognise who it was.

Her hands trembled as she fell down on the floor and blacked out. Whoever it was that had wanted to do harm - Foxy was back and she could sink into oblivion with her heart at peace.

And then the memories hit her.


	5. Chapter 3, Thorns

.c3 r u n  
If you want to get out alive, _run for your life_  
If I stay, it won't be long, _'til I'm burning on the inside_  
If I go, I can only hope; _That I'll make it to the other side..._  
- _Three Days Grace_

"Mom? Dad?" A girl's voice screamed as she flung open the doors to the first aid ward, ragged breathing making her frantic appearance even scarier to those surrounding her. With snow glistening in her dark curls, she quickly raced past all windows of the first aid rooms she could see, towards the operating room, only to be held in place by a tall nurse.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but you're not allowed in there," he stated calmly, a soft smile on his face as his hand rested on her shoulder, urging to guide her back to the waiting area. "How.. How can you be so calm when people are _dying_ in here?" she yelled, startling a young buy with a large cut on his arm - In her eyes nothing serious and she didn't have the time to apologise. "I need to find my parents. And more importantly, my brother... I was told they were in a car crash and were brought to this hospital. I don't know... I don't know what to do..." she rambled on, though slightly soothed by the nurse's gentle expression. She didn't notice the hard look that flashed his face as she mentioned whom she'd been looking for and she found herself settling on one of the waiting area seats by his guiding hands.

"I'll try to find you the information you're looking for as soon as possible. I'm really very sorry, but all you can do is wait right now. The only thing I _can_ tell you is that if you're Janyne, then your family is indeed here. My colleague called to inform you, so they were the person you spoke to just now." he said softly, bending through his knees to level his eyes with hers. "I don't know what else to tell you right now, except... Try to drink something and get some rest, it might be a while." He left before she could utter a single response.

xxx

The memory, or dream, whatever it was, faded and another, even more vivid one took its place. Janyne tried to move, but felt stiff and quickly fell back into her unconscious state. Pearly beads of sweat dripped down her forehead. These nightmares, her long past reality, returned to her ever so often in her dreams. She couldn't escape them and was therefore forced to relive her past regularly. The past, the memories she so longed to forget. She hated it, she hated every bit of it. She wanted to leave it all behind so badly, but it haunted her and refused to let go.

xxx

"Janyne..." her mom's voice was weak, stuttering... There wasn't anything sensible to say, sweet words were meaningless, nothing would relieve this seemingly endless, numbing pain that would linger in her heart forever. As of this moment, all the love she had ever felt, was gone, blasted away mere seconds ago by a few words - No, not even words, it was the sight that came into view when she entered the recovery room.

Two beds, with patched up versions of the two parents she so detested; She couldn't hate them, they were her parents, but she could never love them either. The only reason she remained with them, the one she'd been so anxiously waiting for...

The third bed was empty.

She fell to her knees, the realisation kicking in over and over again and all she could do was cry. She'd lost the only person she cared for and she knew that in the end, she would be the one that would be blamed. There wasn't anything she could do about it... Unless. The confused puzzle that formed her life was blasted apart and a few single jigsaw pieces formed their own solution. Rook, Rocco, her baby brother, was the only reason she'd stayed with her parents and now that he was... Wasn't... She could run away and cry. Cry, alone, in solitude, try to deal with it, though in the back of her mind an alarm went off, telling her the only way she'd get over this was to die herself.

A wreck, she stood up, ignored her parents' pleading, and left. She didn't notice anything on her way, or anyone around her, not when someone talked to her or when she bumped into them. She soon found herself at home, grabbed what little stuff she had and said goodbye. Goodbye to this place she'd been forced to call home though it'd never felt that way to her.

xxx

She shifted and realised her hip hurt. How long had she been lying there? She couldn't be sure and before she could look around to investigate her surroundings, a third wave of memories hit her. It seemed to have been ages, the time she spent on the floor, but before she could say anything, she was gone again.

xxx

"You fucking asshole!" Janyne screamed, her clothes the same as in the previous memory. She knew this meant it was either the same day or shortly after, but considering her now even more bewildered look, it was hard to be sure.

It was dark outside, giving the impression night had fallen, and it was snowing. The scenery had changed, too. No more sterile, peaceful hospital wards (even in the first aid department), no more family home but a filthy, dimly lit city scape. Tall, badly taken care of apartment buildings rose on either side, leaving the girl in a narrow alleyway, with a dark figure in the shadows in front of her.

"How dare you? You _murdered_ my brother and it doesn't even bother you at all, does it? You don't give a flying fuck!" she screamed in agony, tears streaming down her face. "You bastard, filthy scumbag, I should've never let in with the likes of you, I don't even know why I ever called you guys 'friends'. Maybe because you seemed strong when I wasn't - But it was never strength, was it? It was all a fluke, in the end it's all about money, and power here anyway; Which seems to be one and the same thing for you guys, too! You're… You've become a coldblooded murderer and that's _all_ you ever will be. You don't give a shit about the people around you, so when you don't get what you want, you just kill anything in your way. What the hell made your crazy mind think it was my _family_ that was in your way? They did _nothing_ to harm you! The one that was in your way, all along, was _me_ and me alone!" she continued, a wall of words thrown at the male in front of her, though without effect, he didn't even budge.

Instead, he laughed, a honing laugh that echoed off the walls they found themselves between, ending in a relentless sigh. Stepping out of the darkness, into the tiny patch of light from a flicking streetlight, a creature appeared. The expression in his eyes betrayed him. He looked human, but the madness that shimmered in his eyes showed he'd lost sanity a long time ago. His hand reached up to touch the soft skin of her cheek, the touch sending chills down her spine.

"Janyne, my darling Janyne. You have to understand, you are mine, and mine alone." he cooed gently, his hand sliding down to her neck with the intention of going further down.

"You son of a bitch." she swore, slapping his hand away from her, tears dripping on the filthy floor. "I hate you. I'll kill you one day. I swear, I'll kill you." she stated ruthlessly, purposely ignorant of the fact that he could kill _her_ with a snap of his fingers. He smirked and tilted his head, "I love you too, sweetheart", he said, reaching for the exposed flesh of her neck, attacking it with violent kisses, biting even. She froze as his hand slipped up the back of her shirt, caressing her soaked back.

Snow and sweat. She practically bathed in it, but he didn't care. This ugly figure, the beast he was -definitely no longer a man-, had always wanted her, but she'd never given in. She'd always known these people weren't _real_ friends, even her parents had told her that often. The only good advice they'd ever given her. And now, because of _her_ mistakes, she'd never see her brother again. Her grief blinded her, only seconds later realising he'd unhooked her bra and was pulling her shirt up.

The cold touch of snow against her stomach and the hard, cold wall she was pressed against brought her back to her senses. He grabbed both her wrists with one of his massive hands and pressed them up against the wall above her head. That single moment of carelessness had left her vulnerable, the first time she'd ever felt vulnerable in her life.

He was just about to reach for her newly exposed skin when she shifted and struggled to free one of her legs, which she forced up immediately, straight up between his legs. He gasped and folded over, letting go of her all together. She pulled down her shirt, grabbed her bag and in a single fluent motion, she bolted, running faster than she ever had. He'd caused that car crash, he'd killed her brother, quick and smoothly, and she was going to get her revenge for it.

xxx

She finally woke up from her nightmares, sweating all over, and glanced about. It'd been a dream, all but reality, once again. The situation she was faced with right now didn't seem exactly real either, however.


	6. Chapter 4, Home?

.c4 I've never been so lost, I've never felt so much at home; Please write my folks and throw away my keys.

Only then she started to fathom what had transpired in that hallway. It was still unclear, but it dawned on her that she had gotten them all in a big mess.

The young man was still wrapped into a ball, plucking at his leg, which was bleeding freely though not an awful lot, and a flurry of red and white surrounded her. Foxy had completely ignored the stranger that had broken into their home and passed by him, going straight for Janyne instead and her dazed head just couldn't understand why. She noticed the lights had been turned on and Foxy was next to her. _How long have I been here? And... Why is that guy still here?_

A door behind them was pulled open and a drowsy Kiwi came out. "Wha...?" she started, yawned and continued, "...Happened? So much noise and- Oh, hey Johnnie! What's up with your leg?" she asked the stranger and Janyne flinched. _They know this person? How could they possibly know a burglar?_ her thoughts raced, not knowing which emotion to give priority to. Anger, fear, freaking out; They were all viable, sensible options. The memories, the gunshot, she had a hard time discerning between dreams and reality and couldn't fathom this mystery that lacked so much information she just couldn't get a hold on.

The man scowled in response and uttered something incomprehensible. Foxy laughed. _Wait, why is Foxy laughing?_ It confused Janyne even more, but the answer soon came. "Johnnie, honey, why are you breaking into my place when you could've just used the back door? You know where the key is. You didn't think I'd leave Kiwi and Jan unprotected, did you?" Foxy said, chuckling to herself. What the man, Johnnie presumably, said next was a somewhat muffled version of "'t was locked" and Foxy raised an eyebrow. "Jan, sweetheart, did you lock the back door's second lock?" she asked and Janyne, more confused than before now, nodded weakly. Foxy laughed again, "Well, that explains. Well, darling, what was the rush you had to break my window for? That's going to cost you." she said to the man.

He made some painful sounds and Foxy cut him short, "This really is your own fault, you know, besides, they were only loose pellets, they can't have done much harm. I hadn't expected Jan to have to fend off a burglar when I wasn't around." she sighed, "If you could've just been patient... But that's not like you, I know."

Janyne finally found the strength to sit up and Foxy moved over to the guy to scold him up close. Janyne blinked a couple of times and scraped her throat, "Uh... Fox... Who _is_ this guy? You seem to be... Acquaintances? And how much time have I been... I shot... You flew through the door..." she stammered, at a loss of words.

Foxy looked at her for a moment, almost incredulously, but Foxy couldn't ever look incredulous, so Janyne figured her eyes were just playing tricks on her. Kiwi interrupted the silence moments later, "Johnnie is one of my bestest buddies!" she started and Janyne paled, "But he really doesn't come by enough, do you Johnnie? Where've you been all this time!" she asked with a cheerful smile, reaching down to hug him, completely oblivious to the wounds on his leg. He winced. "And on top of that, when he does visit, it's alllllllways in the middle of the night, that's why he uses the back door." she yawned again, "But... I'm still sleepy, so I'm going back to bed. See you soon, Johnnie! Stay a bit longer this time, m'kay?" she said, turned and disappeared back into the darkness that enveloped her room.

"Uh..." Janyne uttered and Foxy stared at her for a moment, "You were out for a minute or so, why?" she asked and Janyne's eyes widened, "Oh... Okay..." she replied, remaining seated to make sure she wouldn't pass out. _What now? What can I possibly do? I just _shot _someone, a_ friend _of the people that saved me, no less; But why did he have to break in, in the middle of the night? And why doesn't Foxy think it's... Strange, at all?_ Janyne yawned, realising how tired she was, but too afraid to move.

After a few minutes, Foxy helped the guy up after he'd pulled some of the pellets out. "Honestly Johnnie, you've had bigger things than these hit you, stop moaning already." she smiled, chuckling again. She turned to Janyne momentarily, "Jan, get to bed. You're exhausted. Thank you for worrying about both Kiwi's and your own safety, you did a good job." All Janyne could do was nod and with a faint smile, she pushed herself up and stumbled to her room. By the time she'd finally managed to catch sleep, morning had come already. Luckily, she could sleep in, the bar wouldn't open too early the next morning.

xxx

A few days later, Janyne had learned a bit more of this 'Johnnie' guy. He was a band manager and the band members were close friends of the Missy's, so when he joined the group as their manager, he became a regular too. Whenever he came around at night, though, he only had one purpose and that was to borrow money for something or other. Foxy hadn't seemed to think it a big problem, so Janyne disregarded it, though in her dreams she'd already relived the moment multiple times again; She'd shot someone. She'd _shot_ someone.

She'd slept bad because of it and headaches haunted her every day, all day long. Her performances only suffered minimally, but that was because she focused all energy she had into doing so and barely did any of her other work, though Foxy didn't really seem to mind that either. Foxy didn't ever hear the whole side of Janyne's private story, she'd just taken her in like a stray cat. A singer and entertainer, but a homeless one; Foxy figured the girl had her own problems and if they followed her around for a while, Foxy would let her deal with them at her own speed. Or at least, Janyne had figured that to be the reason why she was being let off the hook, anyway.

She'd been taking her life as it came, on a daily basis. She didn't want to make any plans for the future, as everything could be different on the morrow. She did try to at least look forward to things, though, and Gloria's note had soon returned to occupy her mind; The beautiful woman she had realised was Foxy's sister had signed the start of that crazy night only days ago. The signature had lifted a tip of the veil, as it held the same last name which had reminded Janyne of the sibling Kiwi at some point had mentioned Foxy had. Whatever it was the woman wanted from Janyne she didn't know, but she seemed to be as mysterious as Foxy was. If she was anything like Foxy, Janyne would do anything for her, too. She figured she would to put on her nicest clothes. _You never know, any night might be the last night of your life._ She shook the thought; She didn't want to think like that, she'd just hope it was a nice night out with a woman that shone as bright as the stars up above.

The days crept by- On the one hand, she was happy life went on and time progressed as it always did, but on the other hand, every moment she lived was another moment she spent as a woman that had shot someone. It bothered her immensely, she had tried to do the right thing in protecting herself and more importantly, Kiwi and Foxy's property, but it ended up in her shooting their friend. It meant two things, too. She could've _killed_ him, she would have been a murderer too then. The other thing was that she _didn't_ kill him and what if he _had_ meant harm? She couldn't be sure if it would happen again; Would she be able to pull the trigger again in that case? Would she know if she should or not, knowing all the consequences?

She wanted to just... Break down, and cry. Feel sorry for herself, as she had done years ago, but she wouldn't. Never, she'd passed that time. She'd keep it all in, go through it alone, in silence. And in those moments of silence, she found herself raiding her closet, checking again and again. What did she own that she could wear, what _should_ she wear? It caused an occupation of her thoughts that was a welcome change to her nightmares and she wanted that particular night to be here already, even if it was only to enjoy that woman's presence for a little while. Learn anything she could about her, see what she was like.

When it was finally _that_ day, that nearly dreaded day, the minutes couldn't have passed more slowly. She'd put Mos on stage that night so she didn't have to perform herself and so she'd have enough time to get ready. Halfway through the night she regretted that decision terribly. Being on stage would've at least sped up the time until the clock would finally hit eleven. She'd sorted out the reservation for a cab, worked out how long the drive would take, showered, dressed, did her make-up and seated herself at the bar, tapping her shiny nails on the rim of the glass in front of her nervously.

What would she be like? Would she resemble Foxy at all if you saw her up close? Would they have similar personalities? Why had she even left a note for Janyne, would it have anything to do with Foxy's disappearance that night? She had no clue, no clue whatsoever. She jumped up from her chair as a car honked outside. Feeling if her hair was all right, Kiwi smiled at her, "Enjoy tonight, Nyn! Glory is really ever so sweet!" she said, though Janyne knew that the extent of Kiwi's knowledge of people didn't exactly cover all aspects of their personality. In fact, there wasn't really anyone Kiwi didn't think was sweet. Regardless, it made her feel... At least a tiny bit less nervous.

Pushing open the bar's front doors, a light breeze swept through her attire and she rushed to the car, carefully holding the dress she'd picked so it wouldn't get dirty.


	7. Chapter 5, Caterpillars acoustic

Full title: "_Caterpillars (acoustic)._"

.c5 .b.e.l.i.e.v.e. | .d.e.c.e.i.v.e.

Her dress wasn't extraordinary, she couldn't afford as much. The ones she had, she either got from Foxy, or bought with the money she'd earned at the bar; Considering she didn't really need much, the money she dared accept on top of food and lodging wasn't much. Besides, she hated spending money on herself, anyway. Regardless, it was considered formal attire and it suited her well.

The dark purple velvet matched her violet eyes well and her heels befit her in the same manner. Hair of equal colour dangled loosely over her shoulders, a long dark coat covering up as much as it allowed to, down to her knees, her legs bare underneath. It was meant to be alluring, but not seductive, she couldn't risk as much out on the streets, a 'show' of that kind was only for interior purposes.

She was to be right on time. On the second, if she could be, it befitted her. There was no reason to be early and even less to be fashionably late. She hadn't the slightest of why she'd been so cordially invited; Why _she_ would be of any interest to anyone? She didn't even know what for, late dinner she figured, but even of that she couldn't be sure. She hadn't even a clue what the "Peace Bridge" was -but the cab driver certainly did-; She'd heard it being spoken of in _Sur L'Herbe_, but the actual location? She hadn't seen it, she barely ever left the bar.

When she saw it from the small window in the taxi cab, her heart skipped a beat; It was beautiful. The lights were entrancing, much like the lady that had invited her and she realised that for her, it couldn't have been any other place. The other female had chosen this with a purpose, with a reason all her own and Janyne instantly knew it was like her. She'd only met her once and she didn't give it a second of thought she'd be as much of a mystery this time around.

Once she got out of the cab, she found herself so bewitched with her surroundings all she could do was follow her feet wherever they would guide her. The grass would've tickled her feet if she'd worn slippers, but her heels slid through smoothly.

She followed them, followed them to where the picnic table with Gloria seated at it was, and she smiled. "You've definitely chosen a wonderful location..." she said, looking away, enchanted by the metal and the neon lights. Her hand gently touched the wooden table, then she took off her coat and draped it over the bench before seating herself. She hadn't learned too many manners and had bluntly figured she was to be seated anyway.

"Thank you for the invitation... What are you having, Chardonnay?" she questioned, looking over the exquisitely decorated table. The wines stood out, but she knew nothing much about the drink. The labels reflected too much light for her to be able to properly read them without having to lean in and look improper.

The pink female nodded and started writing on a notepad. It didn't surprise Janyne much, the female was bound to have many more... Special details, though she wasn't sure of how to respond. Was she supposed to write as well, or would speaking back be fine? She'd already figured the woman was capable of hearing perfectly, but if speech bothered her, Janyne would just as gladly write in return. Sadly, Janyne was too... Introvert, in a way, considering her own feelings and emotions, to ask the question and just spoke in response. She hoped it was the right choice out of the fifty-fifty chance she was given.

She folded her hands beneath her chin as she read what'd just been written, "_Prompt and on time, aren't you? And certainly beautiful._", it made Janyne smile. "It wouldn't befit a lady to be late. Especially not when expecting to be in the presence of a woman such as yourself..." Janyne had blushed at the compliment, she wasn't used to receiving them, at all. "You look astonishingly gorgeous yourself too, I might add." she said, speaking only the truth instead of intentionally trying to flatter.

She was still in awe of the bridge's exterior and in wonder of what she'd been brought here for, but if she was going to enjoy this meal -one of her favourites, chicken satay- in the presence of a beauty, she wasn't going to reject it. This woman was and would be a mystery and she doubted that anyone would ever figure this woman out. The conversation was filled with some casual, simple talk, but nothing in-depth.

The food, on the other hand, was rich with taste and she savoured every bite of it. The wine that came with it, "Napa Valley" had been all the women had written, tasted just as delicious. The rest of the night was just as magical and Janyne enjoyed every single moment of it, forgetting, or at least accepting a bit more of her past every minute that slipped by unnoticed.

The woman was at least, if not more, magical than the evening had been and to Janyne it'd all seemed like a fairy tale. Her own little fairy tale, that is. It was also for that reason that Janyne only remembered half of it and she regretted that sorely. She blamed it on the wine, but deep down inside she'd just been amazed with how simple yet full of detail one night could be. So magical, yet nothing felt out of place.

She still didn't know what the woman wanted from her, but she'd put a spell on Janyne and... It was very effective.


	8. Chapter 6, Two steps forward, one step

Full title: "_Two steps forward, one step back- Or is it?_"

.c6 _I need you_ so much, _somehow_, it's not enough to say that _I miss you_. - The Veronicas

What a night it'd been. She thought about it endlessly, trying to relive it all as often as she could. Not just because she'd enjoyed the night so much (she had), but also because it was one of the few 'happy' moments in her life. When she'd found herself in bed the day after, she felt like Cinderella - Sleeping Beauty, even. For just that single moment, she lived the life of a young girl wanting to dress up and be a princess... With her own princess on a white horse.

She'd never been in love and wondered if this was it, feeling mesmerised even after a few hours. She'd lost track of how many days it'd been, but it felt like way too many. Foxy had probably noticed the change -Kiwi probably didn't-, but she didn't say a word and just smiled, knowing Janyne would be on stage again, doing her job, and doing it well; Possibly even better than before, just in the hopes _she _would be watching. Soon, though, she was harshly kicked back to reality in a way she'd rather not ever be; Everything about it reeked of her past.

Jinx stumbled into the bar, beaten up and hurt, as the bar was nearly closing for the night. He was covered in blood and his clothes were torn, but he could still walk and talk and after close examination, none of his wounds were too serious. She helped him disinfect the cuts and grazes and in the process he had mostly just stared into some void beyond them blankly. She bandaged him up and half-dragged him to her room.

Janyne was too afraid to ask anything as she helped him clean himself up and before she even could, he'd fallen asleep on her bed. He'd been asleep so fast it took her a while to realise he was now fully occupying her bed. She couldn't help but let out a distorted chuckle. Whatever had happened to him had exhausted him, and not just physically.

When he'd stumbled in, Janyne had been cleaning up. The last customers had just left and the sight of him gave her... Well, one of the frights of her life. She'd dropped whatever she was holding and had rushed to support him. The situation was unknown to her, but she could see he hadn't just belly-flopped off a staircase in a drunken stupor; He'd been ganged up upon, she recognised it all too well from when she'd escaped herself that day.

_Well, isn't that wonderful._ she thought, _Comes barging in, doesn't even ask if I'll clean him up and then falls asleep in my bed. Oh well._ she covered him with blankets, tucking him in like she would a child, _He's quite adorable like this, so I guess I'll forgive him for it just this once. she sighed, I could even tease him with it someday. Him and that dangerous job he's got._

She grinned, then quickly changed into a nightgown, grabbed a blanket and made her way back to the bar. She'd just sleep on one of the sofa's along the walls. Not preferable, but she'd be up before anyone would see and considering the situation, she doubted Foxy would mind all too much, either. As Gloria had fleetingly mentioned, she was tough on the outside, but took in every stray she felt a grain of sympathy for. Good by heart, Janyne figured and with that thought, pulled up her knees and fell asleep.

xxx

When she woke, silence still blanketed the city like a foggy haze. She yawned and stretched, the memories of the night before coming back in waves. It was starting to get light, so it still had to be really early and she made her way back to her room. She checked if the man in her bed -she had to hold back a laugh, she'd never had a man in her bed before, except maybe her brother when they were young- was all right and changed into something more comfortable.

Looking at the clock, she realised the light in the bar had woken her up even earlier than she normally would. Getting up early was a wonderful thing because it meant you could do so much that day, but 5am? That really was way too early. She sighed, _Nothing I can do about it now, though_, and with that thought went to make herself some breakfast.

The process of eating went slow and most of the time spent was used to stare ahead blankly in wonder of what had happened to the poor thing sprawled out in her bed. She hoped he'd talk about it, but he'd never been the talkative type. He was more of a listener. She admired him a lot, as he could deal with just about anyone and ooze respect for them, but not show anything of what he really thought. He couldn't, in his profession, it'd be like asking for a death sentence. If Janyne had been in his shoes, she'd have been dead multiple times over already.

When she finally came to her senses, the clock had hit seven and she figured she'd go see if he was awake and all right. Wanting to bring him some water, she found herself surprised when she saw him sitting up and glancing about shiftily. He seemed to feel... Disoriented and not sure of what to think of his surroundings. When she entered, he looked up and it took a while before he recognised her. She smiled and walked over to the bed, pulling her chair over and sitting down next to the bed.

He took the water without thinking and swallowed it down quickly, his face as pale as her beds' sheets, looking like he'd just seen a dead person. He blinked a few times and rubbed his eyes, still not clear enough to know where he was at. "What. A. Mess." He said, as Janyne chuckled, "It's all right, sweetheart, as long as you're all right. You seem to be now, so just sleep some more if you think it'll make you feel better."

"How long have I been knocked out?" he asked and she shrugged, not sure what time it was when he came in. "Couple hours, maybe?" she said, knowing he didn't recall even coming in here at all. He didn't lay back down, however and the haze in his eyes cleared up as memories crashed down on him.

"I told him the truth and he didn't like it. My office is in ruins and when that was done, he came after me. Him and his buddies, he seemed so desperate." he started talking and the words didn't cease to come out, "First a woman had gotten away from him and now he couldn't get his business together, so he came to me for advice. I looked at the business graphs and the data he brought me and even lying wouldn't have helped. The underworld is a cruel place."

He took a deep breath, "Everything had gone wrong since she'd left him, apparently. When he thought back and brought back memories, it only seemed to anger him. I couldn't blame the woman, only for ever having been with the guy in the first place. Before I could get him out, he'd started throwing things around... His gun wasn't exactly _hidden_, hanging from his belt, so I bolted. His friends were waiting downstairs, though... I think I got lucky. I don't know why I came here, gut instinct, I guess."

He stopped and minutes ticked away as Janyne relived some of her own memories. It'd reminded her of her history so much she couldn't help herself. The thoughts of happiness from the other night seemed worthless in comparison, but she knew she had to get herself together, she wasn't the person in need here.

She swallowed loudly, "You... Should report him to the police..." she uttered, but he laughed, "That corrupt bunch? What good will that do? If it's the wrong person I'm talking to at the office, they'll lead him straight to me." She sighed, knowing that feeling all too well, "Well, does he know where you live? You can stay here for a little while, I'm sure, but... That's really only a temporary solution."

A horrible thought crept down her spine and she didn't want to ask the question, but she had to.

"What did... He look like?"


	9. Chapter 7, Angels with dirty faces

.c7 Turn the channel on the tv; Another boy, shot tonight...  
Can't believe what I'm seeing; A body bag, a mother cries.  
Seems like this is never ending; I've had enough, so I decide...  
The time has come for me to face it, can't refuse the war inside.  
- Papa Roach

Terror was the only definition that could describe Janyne's face as her arms wrapped themselves around her knees. She could only barely keep herself from swaying from side to side and a feeling of nausea had taken over. She couldn't eat, she couldn't sleep, she couldn't think - He was in town. He'd found her, she thought she'd hidden herself well enough to be safe, but the description Jinx had given her was too accurate, there wasn't a grain of doubt in her mind. Why, of all things, why did he have to come to her new home, the city she lived in to change her life?

She'd fled. She'd fled when she still could, ran, just to be safe. Far away to be sure, but now he haunted her both mentally _and_ physically. Jinx had felt bad as he saw her deteriorate whilst he was describing the guy and she had been in a sort of trance ever since. She was clueless of what to do, how to act, she'd lost herself, lost again. To this asshole that had wrecked her life and without even trying, he was doing it again.

She was beyond feeling guilty for her present state, she would hate herself for being so selfish if she did ever get over this and if she wanted to, more desperate measures would have to be taken; More desperate than fleeing the town and rebuild her life elsewhere, but she was convinced he was after her. He'd just find her again. There was an urge, a bestial urge in her heart and it tugged at her mind. This had to be dealt with, one way or another.

The day passed without her even noticing and irrational as her state of mind was, she snuck out the bar as soon as it'd gone dark outside again, her hand cramped around her gun. She desperately, desperately wanted to hurt him and sanity had escaped her completely during the day. She didn't care if he lived or died, as long as he'd be out of her life forever.

_That'd be good. That'd be best. Him or me._

Everything she'd built up was about to fade before her eyes. Again. Because of him. Again. How long would it be, how much trouble would she have to go through? It was worth it, it was worth it. She didn't even realise she was close to losing her mind completely. If she could just close that chapter and be done with it...

Before she knew it, she found herself at the front door of the building that held Jinx's office was. It was deserted, the whole area was, and she slowly came to her senses. She hadn't brought anyone or anything except a gun that couldn't really kill anyone. Considering her state of mind, that was probably for the best, but it wouldn't protect her against the one person she needed to be protected from. And even then, could she be fine, ever again?

She wanted to hit herself, but her desire to torture the guy that'd tortured her in her dreams the past years was beyond sanity. It wasn't like her, any of this, all of these feelings. She'd battled herself for years and now that the danger was closest, she'd lost the battle with herself. She sighed and looked around. She had to give up this fear. It was probably a coincidence, why would he _still_ be after her? It was probably a different guy all together and her fear had gotten the best of her.

She turned around and heard a single clicking sound nearby. She froze, unable to look around- Seconds passed and nothing happened. Her muscles tried to loosen and her feet tried to carry her away, bring her to safety.

The metal pressed against her head, pushing aside her dark curls, felt cold. She swallowed. Her mind stopped functioning completely. If this was the end, it was the end and that would be it. That would be all of it.

"So you _are_ here, aren't you. All those years... I've missed you, I've wanted you. I told you, you belong to me." A male voice echoed nearby, the familiar honing laugh quickly following. She noticed dark shades moving around her; He wasn't alone, but she still couldn't move. Fear kept her in place and all he could do was laugh. "I got lucky, didn't I?" he said and a firm kick against her hand sent shockwaves of pain up her nerve system as she dropped her gun. "I'm sure you recognise your old buddies, you're still one of us, except... You've gotten more beautiful than I could've ever imagined." He paused for a moment and things around her moved.

Her hands were roughly pulled behind her back and tied with some sort of rope. The gun was lowered and he tugged at her arm so hard she nearly fell over and came to face him. He hadn't changed. Grown more ugly, but his eyes still radiated darkness and no shimmer of hope or happiness resided within them. A tear involuntarily ran down her cheek and he frowned, then smirked, revealing two rows of filthy, stained teeth. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he tried to soothe her, "Don't you understand the pain I've suffered for you? You are the only one for me, you know that..." His breath could be felt on her skin and it felt... Rotten. His lips touched her exposed neck and disgust surged through her.

Instinctively, she planted her knee in his crotch and he doubled over. She knew she stood no chance with all these people, but his touch... She couldn't deal with it. He couldn't befoul her, he didn't have the right, she couldn't let him. He rose, slapped her in the face, so hard she fell on the concrete. She winced. She could taste blood.

Nothing more came. She waited for a sign, a sign of death; A kick, a gunshot, anything, but... Nothing. She tried to find her gun, but her bound arms refused to aid her. She struggled to sit up, see what had happened, but her sight was blurred, so she wouldn't even be able to face death if it was there for her. She grimaced at the thought, but found herself surprised when her vision cleared and no one was around, except the equally surprised offender in front of her.

"You tricked me, you filthy little bitch. It was a trap, 's just like you, I should've known," he said, grasping for her arm, extending his other to hit her again, but before he could move, the expected, relieving gunshot came. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as he fell down, landed on his knees and on top of her. Blood streamed freely from a tiny hole in his forehead, smearing Janyne's clothes.

She didn't know, she couldn't understand, but everything went blurry once more as she collapsed under his weight.


End file.
